Doing Better Over Being Bitter

I'm not gonna lie, being wanted feels pretty good. We all enjoy the immediate sense of gratification when someone tells us how much they missed or needed us while we were away. However I recently came to the realization that being missed is not always what we should aim for. It doesn't do you or the other party any good.

During my travels back to the states I was contacted a few times by some of the people I work with and that really bothered me. It bothered me that they needed me to explain certain procedures that I do on a weekly basis - they were tasks that I could explain in no time at all if I did it properly. But that's just the thing, I didn't.

  In all the time before I left I never really took the time out to show others what I knew. I never set aside a moment to share the skills someone else had taught me. I guess I was so distracted by an ego that secretly fed on the "well done"s and "good job"s to stop and think that someone else could benefit from me passing on my experience to them.

The more I thought about what I could have done better the more I realized that this happens far too often and not just with me either. In a society where it's do or die, fall or fly I think we've forgotten that we can also strive to be the best without (unknowingly or intentionally) tripping up those around us. It should never be about building our own self up to the point that if we were to ever move that our community would fall. Am I saying you shouldn't improve or grow yourself? No. But should you selfishly take everything for yourself so you can look better than everyone else? Think again.

It is possible for co-workers, teammates, siblings, parents, and all other types of  people who work together to better themselves without diminishing or undermining the other(s). Here's how:

1. What does each person like doing and what is each person good at? They might turn out to have the same answers or they might be different but it's still important that you make it.  This way everyone starts off on the same foot and clear guidelines are made.

2. From those lists, you can now decide who does what. It doesn't have to be permanent or signed in blood because things can change. Maybe one person can do one task for a certain time period or 2+ people can work together just until the task is done.

3. After everyone has spent some time in their own respective areas take a moment to ask everyone what they liked, didn't like, and maybe what they would like to learn from/teach to others (We all know you're pretty rad in HTML coding  but hey, maybe someone else would like to learn it too. And to the person who's been answering phones at the front desk for the last however long, don't be afraid to ask your higher-up if they could show you how to put together a killer business presentation). Not only does talking it out build a stronger sense of community but it eases the work load when you know that that guy Steve in accounting wouldn't mind helping you out with your next project because he likes working with Adobe Suite too.

4. Stop looking at it like a ladder but rather an elevator.

Ladders make no room for multiple people to share in the success because there's only room for one. Not to mention, the only way you can see the other people while you're on the ladder is if you're looking down at them. Elevators on the other hand are big enough to make room for more people at once. So while you are all on your way up you can actually talk and seeing each other face to face.

5. Trust your talent. You are good, like really good - you wouldn't be where you are if you weren't. Your talent has gotten you this far and given more time and polishing your future has endless possibilities for growth.

6. If someone else comes along with the same strengths as you...

a. Don't think any less of yourself. Like I said, you are good.

b. Never try to put them down in attempts to raise yourself up. Doing that only wastes the time you could have used to be productive. Not to mention it makes you look bad to everyone else.

c. Steal their stuff. Okay, not really but still. They might have a similar position but maybe the way they do it is different so this is a good chance for you to learn a new technique (Only don't just copy it action for action, make it your own).

7. Remember why you got into this. Chances are, it wasn't the money or publicity but interest, passion, and drive. Your reason for doing all this will keep you humble and happy when it everything gets a bit hectic.

I’ve been sitting in front this page for the last few days attempting to think of something cool and profound to say. I came up with a few good words but they didn’t feel authentic. Not that anyone would have noticed if I did not say this but I had to delete everything and start over.
You see, what I have been trying to do is come up with a way to thank God for a great life. I am truly grateful to Him for all that I have. I am well aware that there is no way I could possibly repay Him for all that He has given me but to just say “Thanks” would feel even below inadequate.

You cannot know how deeply indebted I feel unless you have lived in the blessing that is my life. Now I know latter half of that sentence probably came off as arrogant or boastful but it’s not my own that I take pride in. It is His actions, and His actions alone that I do so. I would have nothing without Him and that is a fact. However I must not stop the story there. Aside from the obvious money and health it’s amazing how much He has been a part of everything. It’s not like He plainly gave me all that I have and left me to my own but He put Himself in the details too so that I could make the most of it all!

Take my friends for example. He placed them in my life for something. Some friendships, I’m not gonna lie, I thought would not make it to the long-term. However, He knew I would need them and appreciate them more down the line. He somehow planned for them to stick around despite myself.

My four years at the University of Oregon, although extremely stressful and at times uncertain, they were some of the best years of my life. Filled with the cliches of love, laughter, and lasting memories.

My spiritual mentors, again, no one I would have picked but it was done that way for the better.  Man, I cannot say how much I love you guys. You were placed in at a time in my life when I didn’t know how much I actually needed you. You all stuck around even long after.

Every job I have ever had. Each one was able to fill more than my pockets but my mind with new values and lessons; my hands with new abilities; and my heart with a stronger passion for my calling in life.

Family, yes we have had our ups but the downs have made our bond stronger than fortified diamonds. I needn’t say anymore lest I desire to cry.

Self love. While it’s important to have love for others, I also got mad love for myself. I now know it is not who I am but whose I am.

All these words may come off as ramblings but I had trouble expressing such a raw form of appreciation. I could continue on forever, literally because God’s wonders never do cease, but even all the positive adjectives in the world could not measure up to one iota of how grateful I am.

I’ve been sitting in front this page for the last few days attempting to think of something cool and profound to say. I came up with a few good words but they didn’t feel authentic. Not that anyone would have noticed if I did not say this but I had to delete everything and start over.
You see, what I have been trying to do is come up with a way to thank God for a great life. I am truly grateful to Him for all that I have. I am well aware that there is no way I could possibly repay Him for all that He has given me but to just say “Thanks” would feel even below inadequate.

You cannot know how deeply indebted I feel unless you have lived in the blessing that is my life. Now I know latter half of that sentence probably came off as arrogant or boastful but it’s not my own that I take pride in. It is His actions, and His actions alone that I do so. I would have nothing without Him and that is a fact. However I must not stop the story there. Aside from the obvious money and health it’s amazing how much He has been a part of everything. It’s not like He plainly gave me all that I have and left me to my own but He put Himself in the details too so that I could make the most of it all!

Take my friends for example. He placed them in my life for something. Some friendships, I’m not gonna lie, I thought would not make it to the long-term. However, He knew I would need them and appreciate them more down the line. He somehow planned for them to stick around despite myself.

My four years at the University of Oregon, although extremely stressful and at times uncertain, they were some of the best years of my life. Filled with the cliches of love, laughter, and lasting memories.

My spiritual mentors, again, no one I would have picked but it was done that way for the better.  Man, I cannot say how much I love you guys. You were placed in at a time in my life when I didn’t know how much I actually needed you. You all stuck around even long after.

Every job I have ever had. Each one was able to fill more than my pockets but my mind with new values and lessons; my hands with new abilities; and my heart with a stronger passion for my calling in life.

Family, yes we have had our ups but the downs have made our bond stronger than fortified diamonds. I needn’t say anymore lest I desire to cry.

Self love. While it’s important to have love for others, I also got mad love for myself. I now know it is not who I am but whose I am.

All these words may come off as ramblings but I had trouble expressing such a raw form of appreciation. I could continue on forever, literally because God’s wonders never do cease, but even all the positive adjectives in the world could not measure up to one iota of how grateful I am.

I’ve been sitting in front this page for the last few days attempting to think of something cool and profound to say. I came up with a few good words but they didn’t feel authentic. Not that anyone would have noticed if I did not say this but I had to delete everything and start over.
You see, what I have been trying to do is come up with a way to thank God for a great life. I am truly grateful to Him for all that I have. I am well aware that there is no way I could possibly repay Him for all that He has given me but to just say “Thanks” would feel even below inadequate.

You cannot know how deeply indebted I feel unless you have lived in the blessing that is my life. Now I know latter half of that sentence probably came off as arrogant or boastful but it’s not my own that I take pride in. It is His actions, and His actions alone that I do so. I would have nothing without Him and that is a fact. However I must not stop the story there. Aside from the obvious money and health it’s amazing how much He has been a part of everything. It’s not like He plainly gave me all that I have and left me to my own but He put Himself in the details too so that I could make the most of it all!

Take my friends for example. He placed them in my life for something. Some friendships, I’m not gonna lie, I thought would not make it to the long-term. However, He knew I would need them and appreciate them more down the line. He somehow planned for them to stick around despite myself.

My four years at the University of Oregon, although extremely stressful and at times uncertain, they were some of the best years of my life. Filled with the cliches of love, laughter, and lasting memories.

My spiritual mentors, again, no one I would have picked but it was done that way for the better.  Man, I cannot say how much I love you guys. You were placed in at a time in my life when I didn’t know how much I actually needed you. You all stuck around even long after.

Every job I have ever had. Each one was able to fill more than my pockets but my mind with new values and lessons; my hands with new abilities; and my heart with a stronger passion for my calling in life.

Family, yes we have had our ups but the downs have made our bond stronger than fortified diamonds. I needn’t say anymore lest I desire to cry.

Self love. While it’s important to have love for others, I also got mad love for myself. I now know it is not who I am but whose I am.

All these words may come off as ramblings but I had trouble expressing such a raw form of appreciation. I could continue on forever, literally because God’s wonders never do cease, but even all the positive adjectives in the world could not measure up to one iota of how grateful I am.

I’ve been sitting in front this page for the last few days attempting to think of something cool and profound to say. I came up with a few good words but they didn’t feel authentic. Not that anyone would have noticed if I did not say this but I had to delete everything and start over.
You see, what I have been trying to do is come up with a way to thank God for a great life. I am truly grateful to Him for all that I have. I am well aware that there is no way I could possibly repay Him for all that He has given me but to just say “Thanks” would feel even below inadequate.

You cannot know how deeply indebted I feel unless you have lived in the blessing that is my life. Now I know latter half of that sentence probably came off as arrogant or boastful but it’s not my own that I take pride in. It is His actions, and His actions alone that I do so. I would have nothing without Him and that is a fact. However I must not stop the story there. Aside from the obvious money and health it’s amazing how much He has been a part of everything. It’s not like He plainly gave me all that I have and left me to my own but He put Himself in the details too so that I could make the most of it all!

Take my friends for example. He placed them in my life for something. Some friendships, I’m not gonna lie, I thought would not make it to the long-term. However, He knew I would need them and appreciate them more down the line. He somehow planned for them to stick around despite myself.

My four years at the University of Oregon, although extremely stressful and at times uncertain, they were some of the best years of my life. Filled with the cliches of love, laughter, and lasting memories.

My spiritual mentors, again, no one I would have picked but it was done that way for the better.  Man, I cannot say how much I love you guys. You were placed in at a time in my life when I didn’t know how much I actually needed you. You all stuck around even long after.

Every job I have ever had. Each one was able to fill more than my pockets but my mind with new values and lessons; my hands with new abilities; and my heart with a stronger passion for my calling in life.

Family, yes we have had our ups but the downs have made our bond stronger than fortified diamonds. I needn’t say anymore lest I desire to cry.

Self love. While it’s important to have love for others, I also got mad love for myself. I now know it is not who I am but whose I am.

All these words may come off as ramblings but I had trouble expressing such a raw form of appreciation. I could continue on forever, literally because God’s wonders never do cease, but even all the positive adjectives in the world could not measure up to one iota of how grateful I am.

I can’t tell you how much this excites me. It’s invigoratingly entoxicating. I could live off of it all day. To be present when someone’s passion is igniting is one of the most beautiful things in the world that a person can witness. Whether it be about chess, jewelry, carving wood, drawing, saving lives, taking photos, what have you, it’s just a gorgeous site to see. 

I can’t tell you how much this excites me. It’s invigoratingly entoxicating. I could live off of it all day. To be present when someone’s passion is igniting is one of the most beautiful things in the world that a person can witness. Whether it be about chess, jewelry, carving wood, drawing, saving lives, taking photos, what have you, it’s just a gorgeous site to see. 

I can’t tell you how much this excites me. It’s invigoratingly entoxicating. I could live off of it all day. To be present when someone’s passion is igniting is one of the most beautiful things in the world that a person can witness. Whether it be about chess, jewelry, carving wood, drawing, saving lives, taking photos, what have you, it’s just a gorgeous site to see. 

I can’t tell you how much this excites me. It’s invigoratingly entoxicating. I could live off of it all day. To be present when someone’s passion is igniting is one of the most beautiful things in the world that a person can witness. Whether it be about chess, jewelry, carving wood, drawing, saving lives, taking photos, what have you, it’s just a gorgeous site to see. 

14. YES! How wonderful is it to hear that we can finally be accepted for who we are and forgo all the things we are not. Over the last couple of months I have actually been questioning who I was because I sincerely thought there was something wrong with me. I found myself enjoying a quiet night in more than venturing off to all the parties occurring around campus. I love sitting by myself and simply watching people, and I especially find myself talking a lot less than I did in the beginning of my college career.

It was not until I watched this episode of Ted Talks did I realize that all these new actions are not the side affects of being abnormal but the actual opposite. It’s  okay to want to be alone and to not go to functions simply because everyone else is attending, and no matter how many times your friend calls you a loser for it, IT IS OKAY to sit down in the amphitheater in the middle of campus and enjoy your own company. However, in this new positive revelation there I found a downside. If I, for so long thought that there was something off about my personality, how many others have also thought the same about themselves? And how much of those people have not come to the realization that it’s alright to be who you really want to be?

During these last few months of discovery I have also had the pleasure of talking with a few people that - some may be introverts or extroverts - think the same way I do. I have had conversations with ethnic study students, accounting students, advertising students, a guy who drives his church’s van to pick people up, a young man who recently started his own production company and all the way to a journalist turned financial life adviser and they all basically say the same thing: No matter what the world tells you, it’s okay to be who you are. To me society is the one that has it all wrong - not to say that being an extravert is bad but that it’s okay to be reserved too. Not everyone thinks best in groups or enjoys being in a public setting. Like  Susan Cain said, maybe we introverts generate our best thoughts, ideas, creations, and personalities while we are alone. Who is anyone else to tell us otherwise?

Which brings me to another point. From birth we are exposed to a world that says do what you want as long as it’s something that will generate money. The first parts of a school to get cut are the arts and music programs while math and reading are left in their safe corners. What else is a child to think if the one thing he or she is good at is  stripped away and they are pushed to participate in something that brings no joy? It is then when we get to college, any notion of a dream we once had is so far mutilated that we are forced to believe that journalism is dead, painting will land you a spot underneath the bridge and  sociology will turn you into a tree-hugging nut! Sadly enough, majority of the people think that all the “successful” jobs are ones that deal in business, medicine, and law. However, I have seen and heard about far too many people that end up in that corner office on the 55th floor only to find out they regret all the steps that got them there. Again, I am not saying that the this certain status quo is at fault but I just want to the world to know white collar jobs are in no way the only road that leads to the right. If you love driving taxi cabs, go for it; if you like to play the harmonica, find a band that’s missing a member; wanna make sculptures out of recyclables? do it!**

Stop categorizing life as risks vs safety -it will get you nowhere. Think of it as what will ultimately fulfill your passion vs what won’t.

** Following your dreams won’t be easy or medium, it will be hard. Don’t give up on them.

(Source: http://video.ted.com/)