Take Heart.

It takes a strong person to have a true heart of forgiveness and patience, even more so if you’re a mother. It might sound strange given the fact that we assume this is how they are meant to be because they are our mothers. Yes, God instilled it in them but it’s solely their choice to exhibit such traits.
I think the assumption we place on mothers along with other “burdens” makes it hard on them but at the same time it makes me more grateful for who they are and the choices they take on.

One person that has really shown me the true strength of a human being and a mother is my aunt (This is not to say my own mothers have not been strong but I just want to step away from the obvious and give credit where credit is due).
Being around her and growing under her guidance these last 7 months has been something else to say the least. She’s kind, patient, forgiving, understanding, basically everything that 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 says we ought to be. I initially made the mistake of seeing such a great display of affection as weakness - partly due to the fact that I had built up so many walls in my life. However as God would have it, my opinion was proved wrong.
Having these traits was no weakness at all but strength. It takes little to no strength to turn from someone who has done you wrong but it takes such a power to go back and continue to love and forgive- and I mean TRULY forgive.
I’m not talking about I’m gonna let it go but next time I won’t trust you type of forgiveness, no. Her type is the one that catches you red-handed in the midst of your fault and only opens her mouth to lovingly advise you not to do it. The type that although you let her down she still expects nothing but the best out of you next time. When you finish the food that she planned on eating and she still asks you if there is anything else you want without sarcasm.

If you still think that’s a weakness, try doing the same next time something similar happens to you - see how “easy” it is to do just that.

Anyway, I’m not here to judge or compare anyone to anyone but do think about it. This is the type of love God is calling us to exude. He’s calling us to be better than the circumstances presented to us and not to continue the cycle just because we feel like that “pay back” will make us feel better or teach someone a lesson - that job is not up to us. No matter what happens to us, big or small, our duty is to forgive and love as Christ still loved those who persecuted Him.

It’s hard but it’s a choice we must make every single day. However, let me warn you now, somedays will be harder than others. Somedays your heart can be open to even the most unknown stranger but there will indeed be times when your friend, child, spouse, daughter, nephew, boss, professor, employee, what have you does something to jump on your last nerve but you know what? You are called to love. And if during those days you feel like that is the last thing you want to do just run to Him and lean on Him for a strength and understanding that goes beyond what we thought possible.

Here Is To...

Many of my girlfriends have recently become engaged and/or gotten married. While I am happy for them it makes me all the more excited for myself. It’s a bit crazy to think that whoever and wherever he is God created him just for me. I’m excited for the adventures, the laughs, the joy, and growth. Similarly I’m also expectant of the disagreements and opposing opinions but I’m willing to take them in stride if it means I get to spend the rest of my life with a great guy.

Inspired by my friends who have recently changed their last names, reading through a number of mommy-blogs, and a few talks with God I made a list of a few things I’m looking forward to sharing with Mr. Future when the time comes (Might just have to print them and place them in large format frames to hang on the walls later).

So whether you are single, dating, engaged, or married, what are some of the things you guys are looking forward to in the future or have enjoyed so far?

Leave your replies here! (bottom of the post) I’d love to hear your stories.

Single and not yet ready to mingle

Everyone has them. They are called relationship issues. They appear when you least expect them and turns out you don’t even need a boyfriend to have them either. So, whether or not I may regret what I am about to say I will say it anyway: I have never had a boyfriend. I’m 21 years old and I have never had a boyfriend (I feel like a huge weight should be lifted off my chest right now but the whole confessing of secrets to the online public kinda ruins that for me). There are times when I cannot seem to get the thought of having one out of my head and then there are times when I couldn’t care less - luckily it’s more of the latter. However, the question still remains, why haven’t I ever had a boyfriend?

Fortunately enough for me, I was able to gain a little clarity on the matter when I came across Generation Unleashed’s Pastor Poncho and his series on How Are Things Making Out: Dating, Relating, and Waiting.

Weird title, I know right. But it was strange enough to stir my interest.

Here’s what I got from it:

You don’t always have to jump into dating first to find that special person - you can just be friends. This is what Pastor Poncho referred to as the relating part. Hang out with them in a friendly group setting, get to know their common and uncommon interests, just be comfortable around each other. No need to rush or to worry about doing anything because’ y’all are just friends. Then, if after the relating stage you both happen to have a deeper interest in one another, by all means, start datin’. Now dating is not just to hang out more and be friends with benefits. No, you date to see if the feelings involved could possibly grow into a deeper connection that could draw you into marriage. You’re seeing if you could really spend the rest of your life with this other person. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. If it doesn’t, that’s okay. Do not feel pressured to marry the first person you date. Take the time to go to God and re-evaluate what it is you learned, changed, and now want. Don’t go searching for another to see if you can make it right. Just chill your roll for a moment.

   However, when you do find the right one, CONGRATS. This is not the time for you to get physical though. This is the time where you can in fact slow things down for a bit. Find out more about each other, talk about the relationship you both want, and what y’all don’t want. Don’t forget to set boundaries. Now that everything is new and fresh it’s the perfect time to do just that. Poncho talked about setting boundaries so nothing would be rushed and temptation wouldn’t rear any bit of its ugly head. While there is no sin about kissing, hugging, or holding hands it’s still a good thing to set boundaries. Just because y’all are now en route to the chapel does not mean you should go all the way to the line without actually crossing it.

   This is where he discussed 1 Corinthians 10:23. “‘I have the right to do anything,’ you say—but not everything is beneficial. ‘I have the right to do anything’”—but not everything is constructive.” Pastor Poncho put it this way: If you are dating and/or engaged why would you do all the things you possibly could before crossing that line of sin? It would make the rest of your time before marriage miserable. You both would be then so focused on what other new things could be done without sinning. What would give you that excitement without repeating the same things.

God isn’t saying all this to bore you; He’s doing all that to get you focused on more than the physical and to get you excited! When you’re not thinking about physical things you can look towards getting to know them a lot more, get into new activities/hobbies with them. Also, when you set clear boundaries you can have something to actually look forward to. Now it’s not like, oh on this day let’s hold hands for the first time then the month after we can kiss - well it can be  like that if you prefer. Whatever it is, just don’t rush into everything all at once.

There was so much more Pastor Poncho said and a lot more I gleaned from that but God laid it on my heart to just share with you guys a little bit of my story and a few bits of what I picked up. So you see, even while I’m in the “single department”, God is still readying my mind and heart for the future.