Beyond My Borders: Hoang Pham

My name is Hoang Pham, I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon. I attended Benson Polytechnic High School and graduated in June of 2007. I then attended the University of Oregon, studied Political Science, Ethnic Studies, and Business Administration. I moved to Los Angeles from Portland after college and started Teach For America. I taught, and continue to teach 1st grade at KIPP: Empower Academy. During my first two years of teaching, I got my masters in Urban Education at Loyola Marymount University. Besides school, I love dancing, and have been breakdancing since I was in 8th grade. In L.A., I breakdance during quarter breaks and halftime with the Los Angeles Clippers Fast Break Crew. I also thoroughly enjoy cars, and run time attack road race events in Southern California.

            As I had mentioned, I moved because I was accepted into a program called Teach For America, where recently graduated college students are placed into a low-income community to teach for two or more years. I plan on teaching for another three to four, possibly five or more years, I honestly do not have a cap on teaching because I believe that there is so much to be learned about the teaching profession every single year that you have a new set of students. I also believe that I am nowhere near my vision for what a classroom should be like for black and brown kids in South Los Angeles, and am striving towards that every single day. However, post teaching, I’ve had many different thoughts of what to do. I might possibly take on a different role in education, whether a school administrator or curriculum specialist, maybe take the law school route and study education law, or possibly even run for an elected office one day. Who knows, but I do believe that whatever I’ll be doing, I will be striving towards creating spaces where people can be amazing, so amazing that they create other spaces that ultimately builds a better world for all people.

            If I could give anyone advice about moving, I would tell them two primary things. 1) When you do move, make sure that wherever you are moving to have a job waiting for you there. The biggest difficulty with moving is uncertainty with how you will be paying for everything, so when you move, move for the purpose of a job, or schooling, or a career promotion. This way, there is a reason that you are moving where you are going to, not just because you got bored one day and decided that you wanted to move there, that would be the thing you should not do. 2) To be honest, regardless of where you move, you’ll get a chance to experience whatever that place is known for plus a whole lot more. But after awhile, it is really the people that keep you happy and wanting to stay somewhere, not the job opportunities, not the night life, not the food, not the weather, the people. More than anything else people keep you where you are at. You can get everything else for the most part, but the one thing you cannot replace are people who deeply care about you, and are there when you need them the most. Thus, if you do plan on moving, keep in mind that either you might want to keep your friends and family nearby, but maybe that you also should establish strong networks of amazing people like yourself sooner than later wherever you choose to move.

            I could probably tell you a million other things about life, but I myself am still trying to figure out so much, and this will be always true, because we are never done learning about ourselves, or the world around us. One of my mentors last Summer asked me a pivotal question that gave me a great understanding of how to view the things in and around my life. He did not ask me what I wanted to be, as that would assume that we seek a position. Positions, in its entirety are temporary. You hold positions for duration of time, but once that duration is over something else shall come along. You must ask yourself, what do you want to change, because the answer to that question will keep you inspired and motivated for the rest of your life.

Movin' to the country, gon' eat me lotta peaches

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If you’re like me and you have ventured out to the great unknown or are planning to, here is a compilation of a few things - some practical and some more personal - I have learned about moving to another city/country/continent (Pick one that suits you best).

Leave your baggage behind. Your future self will thank you for it. When you forgo all the things that you only think you need and hold on to items of actual importance and quality your view of everything changes for the better. And I am not simply talking about physical items either, I mean things like moments and emotions too. Travel light and go further. Not to mention, it gives you a great excuse to fully immerse yourself in that new culture and get accustomed to something else.

"If you use the same bricks from your old house to build a new home, you’re gonna get the same results." While it’s cool to say that you were given a fresh start it’s not cool have spent all your time wasting it. Use this opportune time to exceed your past expectations. Put in more work. Change your style. Be adventurous. Be an introvert. Start going on daily walks. Go ahead and put your first dollar into that savings account you’ve been planning to create for the last 5 years. Read a book. Join a plant club. Now is the best time to do anything.

Take public transportation for the first 3 months. Your future self will also thank  you for this because when you finally get that yellow Lambo you will have  a better sense of your surroundings and  actually know where you’re going.

Know that it is MORE than okay to not make friends within the first few months of your arrival. There are a lot of blogs out there that advise you to make all the besties you can but I want you to know, it’s okay if you don’t follow that path. I’m not saying you will go through the same thing, but because I expected to have great friends off the bat actually made it harder and a lot more disappointing when it didn’t happen. However, I used that time to connect with God and with myself (see 2 paragraphs below). Eventually, I did find (actually, more like they found me) a really solid group of people that I have come to call family.

Work. You may have come here to start anew, climb up the (add your preferred field of work here) ladder but things will take time. Be prepared to use your brain, hands and heart to (l)earn all that you can.

Hang out with yourself. And no  I’m not just talking about spending alone time at home and watching T.V. I mean go out, have coffee, attend an exhibition at your local - or the next town over - museum. Be open to new. Get to know yourself again. Chances are, with a change in location, you also have a few changes in personality. Find out what you don’t like anymore, or get invested in something you have now come to love. Additionally, with that said, don’t forget old “habits”. These are the things that ground you. For me, it’s spending time with God by reading the Bible, praying, and listing to praise and worship music. It helps me to remember that although I took this trip by myself I am not alone. For you, it could be talking to your sister at least once a week, finding time to cook dinner during the weekend, running in the mornings, etc.

Start a savings account like ASAP. Don’t say that you just spent all your money on food, gas, rent, internet, etc. Blah, blah, blah. All that was heard was a  long list of excuses. You can start with putting at least one dollar a day away and build on it from there.

Ask questions. Don’t be a nervous Nicholas and think asking will make you look dumb. You know what will, walking around the same intersection for more than 10 minutes because you thought you could figure it out yourself. Same goes with everything else, ask what’s in the food before you spend 20 dollars on the plate, raise your hand in class when the word “ute” gets brought up like 20 times and you have no clue what a ute is, stop someone so you can find out what time it is, etc. Just ask questions.

Call home at least once a week and keep in contact with your friends. I would say no explanation needed here but I really want to drive this point home. Don’t forget where you came from and the support system that helped you to get to where you are. It’s all too easy to go a while without reaching out but even if it’s just a little  text or email to say “I miss you”.  Also, never  ever underestimate the power of leaving a message. Just because they didn’t pick up on the first try, doesn’t mean they wouldn’t love to hear you when they get the chance to check their voice mail (Call me cray but I still have a few messages saved from my siblings and parents from over a year ago just because it warms my heart to hear them when I know they can’t talk).

 I’ve said it before (#6) but I’ll repeat myself for good measure. Tread cautiously when it comes to social network pages. Don’t spend so much time on those sites and end up wishing you had a different life. Pictures and posts from other people only tell you 1/4 of the story and none of the true struggle. I can assure you that they are going through the same thing you are.

Oh yes, and lastly, stay thankful. There will be moments where you will question your reasoning and/or sanity for being here  but remember how blessed you are to be in a position that thousands of others would fight tooth and nail for. You might think you have gotten nowhere but I bet if your 6-year-old self could, he or she would PROUDLY bring you in to show you off on career day.

22 years. 264 months. 8,030 days. 192,720 hours. 11,563,200 minutes. 693, 792,000 seconds. Add all that up and you still couldn’t even come close to the number of ways my life has been blessed. I’m so extremely grateful for every moment that has led up to right here and now. Although this life is solely mine to live, it is not solely mine to own. The thing is, I have felt the enormity of an undeserving, gracious love given to me by Jesus - I have the family, friends, and a life full of memories to prove it. However, it would be a little too selfish if I kept all that goodness to myself. While I cannot physically relive them all with you I made a list (as one does when something grand like a birthday comes along) that was inspired by all the things I’ve learned, experienced, and been blessed with over the years. I hope it finds and/or leaves you well.

1) Work for it. The easy way will get you nowhere. My dad once said, between climbing a mountain and jumping on the spot, both will get you off the ground but only one way will actually keep you up.

2) Be present. There is no other way to live because anything else is not living.

3) Sleep is like a jealous partner, ignore it and your whole life will be affected in ways you never thought possible.

4) Keep your hands busy while you’re waiting on God. Don’t forget He’s waiting on you too.

5) GRACE ABOUNDS - Oh God, how grateful I am to have such a perfect thing and how blessed am I that it is not circumstantial but ever-lasting.

6) Don’t air your dirty laundry but don’t air all your good either. Not every moment needs to be a status, not every situation needs to be instagramed, keep a few for the treasure box of your mind. With that being said, pictures from other people’s social media are no indicator of the value of your social life - you are.

7) Your age should be no teller of the things you ought to be doing. Don’t let expectations cap your greatness or make you feel worthless.

8) Let God go. I mean literally let Him go… and work wonders. Trying to control everything around you will do nothing but consume your own life.

9) You will always have wealth as long as you always remember it’s not limited to dollar bills.

10) Live to the fullness of your years. Not just to 70+ years but to 70+ FULL years.

11) I am beautiful. Everyone is beautiful, and not just in “their own way”. Each person is just plain beautiful. We all need to see that on a daily basis.

12) Always take pride in Jesus.

13) Double check… everything. .

14) Don’t let what you see blind you from what has yet to be seen. Remember, it’s not at first glance but what can be done with at the first chance.

15) Love is not a a simple word or emotion but an action we must CHOOSE to show daily - yes, love to some extent love is a choice.

16) Invest in your future by taking the time to pray now.

17) There is always room for new friends

18) Be a missionary. You don’t have to travel to Guam or Mexico to be one. God can send you to your own university or place of work to go preach the gospel with not only your words but mostly with your actions.

19) Learn to accept gifts, love, compliments, and advice. It not only benefits your life but the giver as well.

20) Being fearless is not a pre-req for any action in life. Fear always likes to rear its unwanted ugly head no matter who you are so you might as well go ahead and do whatever it is you have your heart set on anyway.

21) We cannot change other people, the only thing we can do to them is accept them for who they are.

22) Your actions will outlive you.

22 years. 264 months. 8,030 days. 192,720 hours. 11,563,200 minutes. 693, 792,000 seconds. Add all that up and you still couldn’t even come close to the number of ways my life has been blessed. I’m so extremely grateful for every moment that has led up to right here and now. Although this life is solely mine to live, it is not solely mine to own. The thing is, I have felt the enormity of an undeserving, gracious love given to me by Jesus - I have the family, friends, and a life full of memories to prove it. However, it would be a little too selfish if I kept all that goodness to myself. While I cannot physically relive them all with you I made a list (as one does when something grand like a birthday comes along) that was inspired by all the things I’ve learned, experienced, and been blessed with over the years. I hope it finds and/or leaves you well.

1) Work for it. The easy way will get you nowhere. My dad once said, between climbing a mountain and jumping on the spot, both will get you off the ground but only one way will actually keep you up.

2) Be present. There is no other way to live because anything else is not living.

3) Sleep is like a jealous partner, ignore it and your whole life will be affected in ways you never thought possible.

4) Keep your hands busy while you’re waiting on God. Don’t forget He’s waiting on you too.

5) GRACE ABOUNDS - Oh God, how grateful I am to have such a perfect thing and how blessed am I that it is not circumstantial but ever-lasting.

6) Don’t air your dirty laundry but don’t air all your good either. Not every moment needs to be a status, not every situation needs to be instagramed, keep a few for the treasure box of your mind. With that being said, pictures from other people’s social media are no indicator of the value of your social life - you are.

7) Your age should be no teller of the things you ought to be doing. Don’t let expectations cap your greatness or make you feel worthless.

8) Let God go. I mean literally let Him go… and work wonders. Trying to control everything around you will do nothing but consume your own life.

9) You will always have wealth as long as you always remember it’s not limited to dollar bills.

10) Live to the fullness of your years. Not just to 70+ years but to 70+ FULL years.

11) I am beautiful. Everyone is beautiful, and not just in “their own way”. Each person is just plain beautiful. We all need to see that on a daily basis.

12) Always take pride in Jesus.

13) Double check… everything. .

14) Don’t let what you see blind you from what has yet to be seen. Remember, it’s not at first glance but what can be done with at the first chance.

15) Love is not a a simple word or emotion but an action we must CHOOSE to show daily - yes, love to some extent love is a choice.

16) Invest in your future by taking the time to pray now.

17) There is always room for new friends

18) Be a missionary. You don’t have to travel to Guam or Mexico to be one. God can send you to your own university or place of work to go preach the gospel with not only your words but mostly with your actions.

19) Learn to accept gifts, love, compliments, and advice. It not only benefits your life but the giver as well.

20) Being fearless is not a pre-req for any action in life. Fear always likes to rear its unwanted ugly head no matter who you are so you might as well go ahead and do whatever it is you have your heart set on anyway.

21) We cannot change other people, the only thing we can do to them is accept them for who they are.

22) Your actions will outlive you.

22 years. 264 months. 8,030 days. 192,720 hours. 11,563,200 minutes. 693, 792,000 seconds. Add all that up and you still couldn’t even come close to the number of ways my life has been blessed. I’m so extremely grateful for every moment that has led up to right here and now. Although this life is solely mine to live, it is not solely mine to own. The thing is, I have felt the enormity of an undeserving, gracious love given to me by Jesus - I have the family, friends, and a life full of memories to prove it. However, it would be a little too selfish if I kept all that goodness to myself. While I cannot physically relive them all with you I made a list (as one does when something grand like a birthday comes along) that was inspired by all the things I’ve learned, experienced, and been blessed with over the years. I hope it finds and/or leaves you well.

1) Work for it. The easy way will get you nowhere. My dad once said, between climbing a mountain and jumping on the spot, both will get you off the ground but only one way will actually keep you up.

2) Be present. There is no other way to live because anything else is not living.

3) Sleep is like a jealous partner, ignore it and your whole life will be affected in ways you never thought possible.

4) Keep your hands busy while you’re waiting on God. Don’t forget He’s waiting on you too.

5) GRACE ABOUNDS - Oh God, how grateful I am to have such a perfect thing and how blessed am I that it is not circumstantial but ever-lasting.

6) Don’t air your dirty laundry but don’t air all your good either. Not every moment needs to be a status, not every situation needs to be instagramed, keep a few for the treasure box of your mind. With that being said, pictures from other people’s social media are no indicator of the value of your social life - you are.

7) Your age should be no teller of the things you ought to be doing. Don’t let expectations cap your greatness or make you feel worthless.

8) Let God go. I mean literally let Him go… and work wonders. Trying to control everything around you will do nothing but consume your own life.

9) You will always have wealth as long as you always remember it’s not limited to dollar bills.

10) Live to the fullness of your years. Not just to 70+ years but to 70+ FULL years.

11) I am beautiful. Everyone is beautiful, and not just in “their own way”. Each person is just plain beautiful. We all need to see that on a daily basis.

12) Always take pride in Jesus.

13) Double check… everything. .

14) Don’t let what you see blind you from what has yet to be seen. Remember, it’s not at first glance but what can be done with at the first chance.

15) Love is not a a simple word or emotion but an action we must CHOOSE to show daily - yes, love to some extent love is a choice.

16) Invest in your future by taking the time to pray now.

17) There is always room for new friends

18) Be a missionary. You don’t have to travel to Guam or Mexico to be one. God can send you to your own university or place of work to go preach the gospel with not only your words but mostly with your actions.

19) Learn to accept gifts, love, compliments, and advice. It not only benefits your life but the giver as well.

20) Being fearless is not a pre-req for any action in life. Fear always likes to rear its unwanted ugly head no matter who you are so you might as well go ahead and do whatever it is you have your heart set on anyway.

21) We cannot change other people, the only thing we can do to them is accept them for who they are.

22) Your actions will outlive you.

22 years. 264 months. 8,030 days. 192,720 hours. 11,563,200 minutes. 693, 792,000 seconds. Add all that up and you still couldn’t even come close to the number of ways my life has been blessed. I’m so extremely grateful for every moment that has led up to right here and now. Although this life is solely mine to live, it is not solely mine to own. The thing is, I have felt the enormity of an undeserving, gracious love given to me by Jesus - I have the family, friends, and a life full of memories to prove it. However, it would be a little too selfish if I kept all that goodness to myself. While I cannot physically relive them all with you I made a list (as one does when something grand like a birthday comes along) that was inspired by all the things I’ve learned, experienced, and been blessed with over the years. I hope it finds and/or leaves you well.

1) Work for it. The easy way will get you nowhere. My dad once said, between climbing a mountain and jumping on the spot, both will get you off the ground but only one way will actually keep you up.

2) Be present. There is no other way to live because anything else is not living.

3) Sleep is like a jealous partner, ignore it and your whole life will be affected in ways you never thought possible.

4) Keep your hands busy while you’re waiting on God. Don’t forget He’s waiting on you too.

5) GRACE ABOUNDS - Oh God, how grateful I am to have such a perfect thing and how blessed am I that it is not circumstantial but ever-lasting.

6) Don’t air your dirty laundry but don’t air all your good either. Not every moment needs to be a status, not every situation needs to be instagramed, keep a few for the treasure box of your mind. With that being said, pictures from other people’s social media are no indicator of the value of your social life - you are.

7) Your age should be no teller of the things you ought to be doing. Don’t let expectations cap your greatness or make you feel worthless.

8) Let God go. I mean literally let Him go… and work wonders. Trying to control everything around you will do nothing but consume your own life.

9) You will always have wealth as long as you always remember it’s not limited to dollar bills.

10) Live to the fullness of your years. Not just to 70+ years but to 70+ FULL years.

11) I am beautiful. Everyone is beautiful, and not just in “their own way”. Each person is just plain beautiful. We all need to see that on a daily basis.

12) Always take pride in Jesus.

13) Double check… everything. .

14) Don’t let what you see blind you from what has yet to be seen. Remember, it’s not at first glance but what can be done with at the first chance.

15) Love is not a a simple word or emotion but an action we must CHOOSE to show daily - yes, love to some extent love is a choice.

16) Invest in your future by taking the time to pray now.

17) There is always room for new friends

18) Be a missionary. You don’t have to travel to Guam or Mexico to be one. God can send you to your own university or place of work to go preach the gospel with not only your words but mostly with your actions.

19) Learn to accept gifts, love, compliments, and advice. It not only benefits your life but the giver as well.

20) Being fearless is not a pre-req for any action in life. Fear always likes to rear its unwanted ugly head no matter who you are so you might as well go ahead and do whatever it is you have your heart set on anyway.

21) We cannot change other people, the only thing we can do to them is accept them for who they are.

22) Your actions will outlive you.

Word of God Speak

I love how God has the ability to talk to you through anything and all things.

_______________________________

"If you could soldier on, headstrong into the storm
I’ll be here waiting on the other side don’t
Look back the road is long, the first days of the war are gone
Take back your former throne and turn the tide

‘Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown
Till you keep your eyes… open my love

So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me
To keep your eyes… open my love

Just past the circumstance, the first light a second chance
No child could ever dance the way you do oh
Tear down the prison walls, don’t stop the burden calls
Your chains will never fall until you do”

- Keep Your Eyes Open - Needtobreathe

_______________________________

Didn’t plan on listening to this song tonight but like always, He has better plans for me than I do for myself.

Sitting next to cockroaches

So I was on the train last night, trying to unwind after a long day of class, homework, and high heels when I see a cockroach. Immediate reaction: make a big fuss and freak out. Fortunately for me I quickly remembered that I was on public transit and there were people around. However this scenario reminded me of all the other “cockroaches” I’ve ever sat next to in life. There are times when certain things will happen and our initial reaction is to freak out only to later realize screaming was useless. We waste our time griping over things that will never affect us. Things that will never even come near us. Why is that? All that time making a big deal over tiny harmless cockroaches when we could have instead enjoyed a nice and (semi) quiet train ride home.

You're not a cookie, God made you into a brownie.

"You’re not a cookie, God made you into a brownie."

I told that to my sister a few years ago before she met my charming and funny brother-in-law.

Life is complicated because we don’t have a reason for everything. No one knows why certain things happen, especially when it comes to finding love. A few years fresh from grad school, it seemed as though everyone in my sister’s circle of friends was either getting married, having babies, or both!
 Major news like that, if it’s not happening to you can leave you questioning yourself, your looks, and the way God made you. Seeing my sister in that state got me thinking too. I mean, my sister by no means is ugly- she’s quite gorgeous. Her persona and personality are magnetic, and she loves to watch Pride and Prejudice (one of my personal favorites about her). Why are all her friends in relationships and she’s not?

Enter the cookie/brownie analogy. He [God] explained it to me like this:

Some women I made into cookies, and some women I made into brownies. All the women you see planning weddings right now are cookies. Their time in the oven has come to an end and they are ready to be taken out. However, some people like Simi, [my sister] are brownies. In no way are they any less than cookies and in no way are they any more, they just have different “baking” times. Imagine if you took a brownie out of the oven the same time you did a cookie. What would happen? The brownie would be somewhat hard on the outside but icky and gooey on the inside. It wouldn’t even be the gooey type that some people like to eat. In other words, the brownie just wouldn’t be ready. So, not to fret my daughters, if you are not a cookie it is not the end of the world. Just wait a bit longer and soon enough and it will be your turn.

I just thought I would share that with all the girl readers out there- guys too. I say a big congratulations to all the cookies out there! Additionally, to  all the brownies, just wait and see. Your time is coming and it’s gonna be ah-mazing.

——
In case any of you were wondering, below is a picture of my sister and Sam, her husband below. Her waiting proved to be worth while. Not only did she get engaged ( I got to take their engagement photos!) but she just recently celebrated her  6-month anniversary.  Congrats you two. Love you both.

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[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SDMwvFr5Gk?feature=oembed&w=500&h=281]

Success is NOT just for the lucky few, it’s for those who are willing to work on it day in and day out without fail. You see, we have it in our heads that because of our lowly situations we deserve to be blessed but it’s quite the contrary. No person should be in a miserable state forever but then again no one deserves to be in a luxurious one either UNLESS they put in work.

Don’t bring none and there won’t be none. It’s not an unfair or bias statement, it just is what it is.

Do not be afraid to want a lot.

Things take a long time; practice patience.

Avoid compulsively making things worse.

Finish what you start.

Often people start out by thinking about all the things that they can’t do. Once you take that path, it’s very hard to get off of it. Shoot high and shoot often.

imageIn this interview on The Great Discontent, the inimitable Debbie Millman (who is newly on SoundCloud!) offers five pieces of advice for young people starting out in any creative field – a fine addition to our running record of sage advice.

Complement with Neil Gaiman’s advice on the creative life and treat yourself to Millman’s sublime Look Both Ways: Illustrated Essays on the Intersection of Life and Design.

(via explore-blog)

1. [Turing tape] You need an idea notebook.

2. [Open-minded] Do not aim to solve some specific problem.

3. [Proliferate and select] You may need 10 to 100 ideas before you find a good one.

4. [Aloof] Avoid feeling part of any specific academic community.

5. [Be the boss] Avoid working for anyone, and that includes a granting agency.

6. [Data] Don’t publish without data.

7. [Sloth] Avoid all but the simplest experiments, and avoid building complex tools.

I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I’m going to take a stand. I’m going to defend it. Right or wrong, I’m going to defend it.

Wise words from Cameron Frye.

Here I am almost 3 months fresh outta Compton college and yet I am still unemployed. Nonetheless I still set my alarm for 6:45 each morning. Crazy? No. Drastic? A little. Positive and Determined? Heck yeah! Even though I have not been hired by any actual person or company I asked myself if I could have any dream position, what would it be? I love blogging; I love fashion; I like a great design, as well as creating a good one; social media is just so fascinating to me; and I enjoy writing chunky pieces once in a while. Combining all that, now that would be the greatest job ever. While I have yet to come up with a title for it - but by all means, I am accepting ideas - that’s what I am. I have hired myself and became my own boss. If this is what I really wanna do then why not start now? Why do I have to wait for someone to hire me to make something of myself?

Plus, if you’re your own boss, you can get promoted  anytime you want! Wait, I actually may be onto something there. Promote yourself and take on more work. Push yourself to do more and create more. If you can’t trust yourself to do that why would any other person want to?

All this time I was waiting for inspiration to hit me so I can actually do something with my life, little did I know I need to be my own catalyst.

Nothing Is Okay

Free time can actually be quite debilitating… but only if you allow it to be. 

I just completed my bachelor’s degree. I have no job. My portfolio resembles a piece of fecal matter. Not to mention, I am currently squatting in the basement of my aunt and uncle’s house. To every adult out there this may seem like the worst but I am here to tell you that it is not.

“The future is so uncertain. We are struggling to make it out alive with careers built on love over money. Maybe that is why our parents think us to be lazy beings but it’s like, no mom and dad, we just refuse to work meaningless jobs that take up our time and dry out our passion.”

    -Excerpt taken from my first book, Twenty-Something To Life

When the realization of my current living condition gets to me I just think of that and remember that this (im)position that I am now in is temporary.

—-

I have had a handful of adults as well as a few peers ask me what my plan is now that I am done with my undergrad. I can tell you that each and every time I reply with, “nothing really” I get the same reply: There’s the pause that’s then followed by a surprised look and undoubtedly a list of plans they think I need to follow. And might I add that none of those plans include  what I’m currently doing. I guess what I’m trying to uncover here is, WHAT IS WRONG WITH DOING NOTHING?

Nothing is necessary before the every next and we musn’t forget that. As much as I would like to say because I am twenty years of age I can now abide by the phrase “YOLO” , I cannot. These last few weeks have given me time to process and deliberate my next few steps. I want to be sure of what I am getting myself into before I sign a life commitment.

So, to all the parents out there who have kids sitting at home trust that all you have taught them over the last twenty-some-odd years have not gone to waste. You have raised us well and for that we will be forever grateful. Now is our time to figure out what paths and steps we need to take.  And to my age mates, remember that “nothing” is okay. Bask in it. Learn from it. Let it grow you.

Spoiler Alert!

Spoiler Alert. My deepest condolences go out to those who hate a revealed ending but I just got word today that this thing called life, it actually turns out okay.

It has not been a full week since I finished my last class of college and already the fears of my post-grad mind find themselves making a comfortable nook in the forefront of my thoughts. There are a multitude of things that I need to do and want to do, especially in the next few months but time seems to be evading me everyday. It’s as though for every item crossed off, three more attach themselves to the list. Since being productive seems to be getting me nowhere there was only one thing left to do: complain and whine about it to mom. (She always seems to have the most genuine and heartfelt advice. My dad on the other hand, his words to me were, “Why haven’t you gotten a job yet? What do you plan on doing these next few months?”) Good thing my mom was quick to remind me that EVERYONE who has ever finished college has gone through what I’m are going through. It comes with the territory of transitioning into something new. She reminded me that I cannot control what follows because that’s God’s job. The best thing for me to do is to give everything up to Him and then take it one day at a time.

So, with that said, to anyone who is has finished and will finish any big step in life - not just college - chill, trust, and go. It all turns out pretty rad in the end.